As some of you may already know, I was scheduled to interview Angelique Morgan, aka Frenchy, from Season 2 of 'Rock of Love with Bret Michaels.'
Well, the skank stood me up!!!!
If you're bored and need a little useless info, read about it all http://www.flisted.com/40294/your-daily-fug-221/.
In other somewhat related news, F-Listed generated 2.8 million page views this month, with nearly 900,000 unique visitors. Yeah boi!
This post has been approved by Spaghetti Cat.
There have been literally a million different stories I've been meaning to capture in print, but frankly I'm too tired to put in the effort lately. But in short this is some of it.
Having joined MySpace a month after its inception back in 2003, I find Facebook to be extremely confusing and I do not like it in the least. However, since all my Rican friends are on Facebook I log in every once in a while and see what's been going on in everyone's lives.
So today I log on and see that the little sister of some chick I grew up with was recently in Africa doing some veterinary studies through the University of Florida. Then I saw some other classmate of mine's photos of her in Lima, Peru and it made me think.
Perhaps I'm showing my age and the mentality that prevails during this time of our lives, or just the mentality I was raised around, but I always thought money could be quite evil. I saw the way my mom struggled to get by when I was a kid and how so many of my classmates drove expensive cars and had tons of money and it never seemed fair 'cause half of them were jackasses. But then I saw these photos and it kind of made me smile.
Money might be evil, but I can only imagine how happy and proud their parents must be to see their little girls travel the world. And theoretically when they are fully grown and married and have kids they too will work hard so that their kids can see the world and experience life in its fullest capacity. I guess it's appreciation that changes money. When someone is grateful for what they have and don't use what fortune has come their way to just get high or drunk or spend it on expensive cars they just crash and replace or hookers and I don't know, whatever else assholes blow their mad cash on.
Because if and when I have kids I'd love it for them to see the world. At 25, I still haven't seen much of what I'd have hoped to experience, but I know that I'm still young and will get there in due time. But I would never deny my kids that if I had that kind of income. There are so many people out there in the world abused or not priviledged enough to experience such wonderous sites and sounds and foods, that I think it'd be a waste to have all that money and not see as much of the world as you truly can.
So there's that. And then there's this. If you know me then you know that my brother and I don't talk. We pretty much haven't talked since 2005, but officially officially for over a year now. I don't know what I've done for him to see me as such a selfish, reckless, inconsiderate, foolish person, but I refuse to subject myself to such an abusive relationship.
All that aside, I seriously had to fight back tears when I read his MySpace page today. We're not friends on the site, but I found him and saved him under My Favorites and now pretty much pop in and see what's going on every month or two or so. And if you know anything about my brother then you know he's an angry and cynical man who said he'd never get married or have kids and that love was all bullshit and blah blah blah.
So today I read his profile and it was the most heartbreaking thing ever. He literally pours his bleeding heart all over the place and I couldn't get over how sincere he was. He really just completely 100 percent broke out of his shell and it's baffling. And after I read every single word his broken heart confessed I found myself getting very angry. Because him and I used to be very very very very close when I was a little girl, and I can't believe I'm not there for him when he needs me most.
And as much as I wish I could be the bigger man and call him and put all the rest aside, I know we'd just end up screaming at each other again. I just can't understand why he's able to say he was wrong about love and that he's made mistakes because of this chick he's dated for 7 months, and he can never say he's sorry to me and say he's made mistakes when I've been a part of his life for 25 years.
School is back in session which means I've retreated into Melysa World, never to be seen again. Until the next time, here are a few of my current faves:
Miles Davis and Chet Baker every early mornin', followed by ABBA
CBS' Swingtown (No judging!)
Being able to walk to Target in 5 minutes flat
Being able to walk to Kroger in 2 minutes flat
Having my own office/library
Lily Allen
Home cooked meals
Snuggling with CJ to old episodes of Dexter
Running around with Kayla in the yard
My Gary Baseman toy sitting above my laptop
Going to bed early
Waking up to do yoga
Going to the gym
Reading my friend 'Elisabeth' share how her (used) panties flew out of her purse onto the floor at our local supermarket (Seriously LOL)
Listening to The Skatalites in the noontime
New York Magazine
Complex Magazine
Professors who don't suck hairy balls
Catching up with old friends on the phone
Having Girl's Night here in the ATL
Being a bridesmaid to a couple I know isn't destined for heartache
Getting a raise
New paint for our new home walls
Painting my soon-to-be red back door
Talking to my mommy every day
Talking to my daddy every day
Starting my own website
Feeling optimistic of the future
"My Custom Van: And 50 Other Mind-Blowing Essays that Will Blow Your Mind All Over Your Face" by Michael Ian Black
Bedtime
Oh, yeah.. and homemade strawberry shortcake. Hell...yeah.
"Let’s get lost, lost in each other’s arms
Let’s get lost, let them send out alarms
And though they’ll think us rather rude
Let’s tell the world we’re in that crazy mood.
Let’s defrost in a romantic mist
Let’s get crossed off everybody’s list
To celebrate this night we found each other, mmm, let’s get lost
Let’s defrost in a romantic mist
Let’s get crossed off everybody’s list
To celebrate this night we found each other, mm, let’s get lost
oh oh, let’s get lost"
About 12-time Olympic Gold medalist Michael Phelps:
"That Phelps-- he's a fucking dolphin."
Nights like this really drain the fuck out me. I go into this funk where all I do is question my entire existence and where I'm headed. I'm thinking it's 'cause I just got done paying my bills and who the fuck gets all perked up after that?
But it's okay, because I'm going to be a millionaire some day soon. You laugh now, but you'll be crying in amazement when it happens.
In the meantime, here I am at 3 AM checking out Post Secret with tears running down my cheeks. Yes, I'm crying. It's just that there are so many people with secrets in the world. Real secrets. Deep, dark, unthinkable secrets. It's weird to think how we're all islands. You, me, them. All of us have secrets.
But that's not why I'm crying. I just imagine half of these people putting these postcards together in their rooms, hands shaking, knowing that someone will read their thoughts, even if they never know who wrote it. The relief they feel must be unmeasurable. It kind of makes me wonder how it must be to feel that.
