Personal Essay Workshop

Hi Melysa,

So sorry it took me this long to send you my notes.

I think the subject is excellent - sex sells - and you might consider Nerve.com as a submission option. Your writing is immediate, visceral, and really engaging. The voice is absolutely there.

For revision, I have one main overarching suggestion - which is that you encompass the information/anecdotes/etc you are giving within a more specific story. Right now it's pretty general - we still don't know who the speaker is, so you should include details about yourself and who the dialogue is between. You could use the frame of this experience as a way to go back into the past history.

I hope this helps! You are a very strong writer and daring.

Cheers,
Liza