I had a sonogram done today... OF MY HEART!!

Don't worry, no baby growing in me. Check back in 10-15 years!

But seriously, I've become more absorbed with my health lately. I've always tried to be healthy, but lately it's become increasingly harder to do.

Every time I try and exercise I feel like I'm about to pass out, which is exactly what used to happen to me when I ran track in high school. They'd find me passed out in the bathroom, my head resting on the dirty toilet (ew!).

Lately when I try and do any type of exercise, whether it be joggin, running, yoga, or kickboxing, I feel myself on the brink of passing out again. My vision gets black around the edges, a wave of nausea rushes over me, and I become very weak and pale.

Sometime this month I decided it was time I figure out what the hell is wrong with me, because I keep gaining weight and I need to exercise, plus I just really miss being in shape (regardless of looks).

After having paid the doctor a visit, she told me I more than likely have vasovagal syncope (i.e., fainting). Essentially during times of high stress my body shuts down normally because of a low blood volume which traditionally happens due to having a low sodium diet. My body doesn't retain the water and I am abnormally dehydrated. She said it can be treated, but something as simple as my adding salt to my diet can prevent my body from going into shock. (I don't eat much salt, so it kinda makes sense to me.)

Today I went back for a follow-up where they did a sonogram of my heart. It's ridiculous to think how much fun I have going to the doctor. I suppose it's because nothing is really really wrong with me. Otherwise, I'm pretty certain I'd be singing a different tune.

The sonogram was crazy! I felt like I should be seeing little toes and fingers, but instead I saw my valves pumping blood which looked like tiny hands clapping a concert. When the chick (who turned out is friends with my roommate -- Small world!) turned on the volume it sounded like a washing machine turned on. Swish, swish! Tamara told me it was the sound of my blood being pumped through my valves.

After removing the sonogram gunk off my breasts (Nakedness? Wee!), I got dressed and headed over to the 4th floor where I became the Bionic Rican. Not literally, of course, but pretty much.

They strapped this portable EKG machine to my chest which I am supposed to wear sexily for the next 48 hours. In the meantime I was instructed to go running and do exercise and keep a diary of when I feel like I'm about to pass out. Again, I find this pretty cool, the exception being that I cannot take off the heart monitor thingies, which means I can't shower after I go for a run. How skanky is that?!

I also had a physical done a few weeks back and all is well except for my HDL cholesterol (i.e., good cholesterol) level. It's 35, but should be over 40 (whatever that means). As a result of which, my doctor said I have to work on getting that up because it puts me at a risk for heart disease. She recommended a glass of wine a day and to lose around 10 lbs, which I'd intended to do anyway.

Anyhoo, yeah, so that's pretty much it. I'll look like the Bionic Woman for the next two days and will probably stink worse than Paris Hilton's pussy. No, that's a gross exaggeration and we all know it. Nothing could smell worse than that cavity. I'm excited to know the final result and hope this is it for me. Otherwise I'll have to do the tilt-table test, where they essentially tilt me on a table until I pass out and they can confirm that I have vasovagal syncope. All i want is to be up and running again, literally. I really miss the gym, and being in shape, but it's no fun when every time I do something I either pass out or am about to.

Until next time, this is the Bionic Rican signing off.